Is anybody else extremely lonely?

honestly social media just doesn't feel social anymore. it's all "viral moments", bait, bots, or aggression.

being on the internet used to feel full of life and a part of a community of sorts, now everything feels so hostile, isolating, and difficult to actually make new friends/join a community/talk to others

it's why I like this place so much. it's chill and feels a lot more human than anywhere else.

My personal biggest issue (when I used discord) was that the vast majority of servers were full of people who get upset over the most mundane of things, not being allowed to say what I think or feel to appeal to some anonymous stranger's worldview is torture. 

People are cutting ties with me, presumably because I am obsessed with The Stupid Cupid (1944). I do NOT like it in a weird way and that wasn't the creators' intent unlike some people *cough* Dan Schneider *cough*

I wish everyone didn't hate my guts so much 💔

Update this was a false alarm

Yeah. 

I'm not super active on social media much these days. I just scroll and that's about it. Most of my mutuals are preoccupied with IRL matters, which makes wanting to hang out a lot more challenging and I'll be fortunate if we get the equivalent of a lunch break to talk once a week. I know on my end, that loneliness has gotten worse due to some chronic health issues I have that has me going back and forth from my desk and couch all day depending on how hard the pain and fatigue hits me. Friends I have outside the internet are falling through my hands like sand faster which sucks and in a cynical way, I joked with my Discord friends that I'm speed running friendships at this point with how fast people are burning bridges around me.

Nothing sucks quite as much as wanting to call a friend to talk, but you can't. Something is always in the way. Distance, complicated hours and schedules, tragedy and messy circumstances, need for personal self care time. Sometimes it's like passing each other on neighboring trains. Ever so close, just out of reach, and a little too late - even if its fleeting minutes. It's those down and out moments where I just have to hold onto the thought of them with a death grip close to my chest and hope that maybe, just maybe, they're thinking about me too and if my vibes are strong enough, they'll hear me. Think those telepathic connections you have with a select few. It's slowly becoming not enough to just relive those feelings like nostalgia - I need to feel them because the thought of not being around them (even online) is maddening.

If I can be vulnerable for a moment, a day doesn't go by where the weight of it all makes me want to break down and cry. I can consume all the comfort media I want and cross things off my watch list until the cows come home, but the weight of feeling truly stuck is still there in the back of my mind or waiting for me when I go to bed - unless the euphoria of something good with friends happens and then I can ride that high all day. I know recently, I was venting about feeling nervous about some upcoming medical appointments I have and nothing made me feel as safe as hearing someone I'm super close with in our group tell me they see me and I'm not alone (since they've gone through the same thing and still are). It's the little things like that that are keeping me sane when I feel like I'm about to fall apart.

i just feel sad and lonely and the stuff that i like have really bad fans and so yeah

This thread has made me realize that.