Coyote VS. Acme funeral.
Feb 23, 2024 10:58:41 GMT
awesomereesee, extremewreck2000, and 4 more like this
Post by lostmedia1975 on Feb 23, 2024 10:58:41 GMT
If you’re reading this at the current time, that means this film is still in limbo as of February 23, 2024. If this film gets announced as officially cancelled, then this is still relevant, and if it miraculously gets saved and released to the public, then just disregard this.
Rest In Peace
Coyote VS. Acme
2018-2024
If you’re reading this, just know that at the time of revising this eulogy, this film has currently been put in limbo. If it gets announced 100% as officially cancelled, then this is still relevant.
If on the other hand, the film is miraculously saved and released to the public in the coming months, then just disregard this eulogy altogether.
Now let’s get to it!
Guys, Gals, Non-binary pals, Cartoons, Crazy Loons, and… Sentient Balloons? Whatever, whoever may be reading this, thank you so much for coming.
Before we proceed with this funeral, I just want you guys to keep in mind that I wasn’t in a very good mood when I wrote this (I was looking forward to this movie, okay?!) so if I’m being too harsh in this obituary reading, that’s probably why. This is just a subject I feel pretty strongly about, so I’m pretty… passionate about it, for lack of a better word.
It’s even more frustrating since I was an avid looney tunes fan, and even had a phase where I was obsessed with it back in 2016-2017, and while I’m not as crazy about them as I was before, i still enjoy the franchise, and I have enjoyed the films we have gotten from this IP, including Space Jam, Back in Action, and even Space Jam: A New Legacy, so hopefully my scathing frustration now makes more sense with that context, as well as the earlier mentioned context of me just letting off some steam when writing this. So no, nobody took a shot in my mailbox or jizzed on my bowl of cereal today.
And no, cancelled projects are no foreign concept to me. I’m very well aware of other films even from other studios that were near completion that were scrapped for tax write-offs, like Me and My Shadow, B.O.O.: Bureau of Otherworldly Operations, Larrikins, and countless others, but I wasn’t as upset with those because I only found out about their existence after they had been cancelled, and because at least copies of the films still exist, whereas they’re planning on destroying each copy of Coyote VS. Acme that exists, making it lost forever.
Without further ado, let’s get into it!
We are gathered here today to honor the memory of a potential masterpiece of a film that sadly never got a chance… that got canceled, uncanceled, and then canceled again!
This wasn’t just any old ordinary run-of-the-mill Wile E. Coyote cartoon. It had an interesting premise based on a humorous New York Times article by Ian Frazier, likely passionate directing from Dave Green, a seemingly amazing score from Steven Price, an all-star cast consisting of Eric Bauza, Jeff Bergman, Will Forte, P.J. Byrne, Lana Condor, Hayes Hargrove, Bennie Taylor, Nancy Linehan Charles, Ernie Vigil and John Cena just to name a few, and some neat 3D animation comparable to that of Tom & Jerry (2021).
The films plot centered around Wile E. Coyote deciding to sue the ACME corporation for the sale of faulty products, which usually resulted in him sustaining serious injury, with his equally unlucky lawyer, played by Will Forte, helping him win the case against the CEO of ACME, played by John Cena.
Take all that and the fact it scored very well with test audiences into consideration, and this truly sounds like it could’ve been the film of the century.
This “modern-day Roger Rabbit” as they called it, sadly got the plug pulled on November 9, 2023, when Warner Bros. Discovery made the decision to scrap the film and use it for a tax write-off.
This outcome was somewhat foreshadowed over a year in advance, as this film was supposed to come out in theaters on July 21, 2023 before it got delayed, with this release slot being taken by Barbie instead.
This doesn’t seem too bad at first glance, until we realized this film wasn’t being given a new release date.
Alas, we were still naïve in believing this film was going to get a new release date, for the reasons the author of this eulogy has mentioned above.
Obviously, the cast and crew behind the film didn’t take this news too well, with director Dave Green expressing his disappointment over the films cancellation: “I am beyond proud of the final product, and beyond devastated by WB’s decision to cancel the movie.”
Needless to say, he wasn’t alone in that belief.
Not long after, this seemed like it was starting to spell disaster for Warner Bros. Many people were canceling scheduled appointments with them, some animators sent them angry phone calls and messages, to the point WB made the decision to shop the film around to other distributors.
Other studios, such as Netflix, Amazon Prime and Paramount made bids, with the latter including a theatrical release, and the majority of them still offering some handsome bids. Seems like things could only get better from here, right?
Wrong.
You see, Warner Bros had an asking price of 75-80 million dollars, which they weren’t informed of, and in addition, Warner Bros. Discovery also didn’t allow any counteroffers to be made, so as a result, the film was once again canned today, on February 23, 2024, suffering the same fate as two other previous Warner Bros movies “Scoob! Holiday Haunt” and “Batgirl”.
If there’s one lesson to be learned from this, it’s that we just should assume every upcoming film will be canceled and used as a tax write-off. I honestly don’t even expect “The Day the Earth Blew up: A Looney Tunes Movie” or “Bye Bye Bunny: A Looney Tunes Musical” to ever see the light of day, because the same thing might very well happen to those movies as well.
We gather here today to wish this film a peaceful rest in the Warner Bros archive. To wish our deepest condolences to the cast and crew who poured their heart and soul into this potential masterpiece only for it to be poured down the drain. To pray that someone gets to leak this film and that it can somehow see the light of day.
Coming from someone who was really looking forward to this film, sorry it got cancelled, and huge thanks for everyone who tried bringing it to live, from Director Dave Green, to Oscar-winning screenwriter Samy Burch, Executive Producer James Gunn, Soundtrack Composer Steven Price, and anyone else who was associated with the project.
As an aspiring wannabe filmmaker myself, I can only imagine the pain that would come with your film being nearly, if not fully complete like in this case, just to be all thrown down the drain, and all I can hope is that in the future, wether it be in a week, month, year, or 10 years from now, this film gets to see the light of day. I would love to have the opportunity to watch this film for myself, and I would be so grateful for that opportunity.
And Eric Bauza, I love your enthusiasm in saving this movie, and I’d love to get to talk to you, or anyone involved with this film.
-Sincerely, Kevin. (Not sharing my last name.)
(The rest of this eulogy involves me taking a few jabs at Zaslav and his 3 other executives who cancelled this project. I’m writing this disclaimer after I wrote the rest of this eulogy, and as I’ve stated earlier, I was channeling all my frustration into writing this, so if you don’t wish to see me insult someone, don’t go beyond this point.
You have been warned.)
As for you, David Zaslav… let’s just say I hope your ass gets fired and you never get to work in the film industry ever again. Fuck you. You never even gave this film a chance, because you never even watched it, yet pretty much ignorantly chose to write it off anyway despite the rave reviews the film got.
Slam me all you want, but I think I speak for everyone when we say you are a cancer on the film industry, and especially Warner Bros. You’ve already scrapped two other films for tax write-offs, those being SCOOB! Holiday Haunt and Batgirl.
I’m not even 100% angry just because you’re cancelling this film (don’t get excited, I’m still 99.99% pissed off, as I would have loved to get the chance to watch it someday), so much as the fact you didn’t even watch it to give it a chance. That’s the least you can do!
And believe me, I am holding back as much as I can right now from saying something that will get me permanently banned on every site in existence, and getting my ass cancelled by culture. Let’s just say that Zaslav hunting season couldn’t come soon enough, and I’m sure Elmer Fudd will have a field day with you, even more so than with every time he’s tried to hunt Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck.
And as for the other 3 entitled executives who seconded David’s decision to cancel the picture, you thought I was going to let your asses slide? Oh no, you three will get your cowardly asses held accountable just like Zaslav was, so here goes.
You guys never gave this film a fair shot either, only watching a rough cut of it, and still agreeing to scrap it for a tax write-off. The fact that you guys put such a high asking price and didn’t allow counteroffers is pretty sketchy too, as though you were intentionally sabotaging this film. Not trying to accuse you guys of this if this is actually false, but it’s pretty suspicious.
I’ll give you three this, at least you actually bothered to watch some cut of the film, even if it wasn’t a finalized version, but still.
This just sucks. All we can do now is hope that some copies of the film survive through WB’s junking of the film and it’s assets.
In terms of this film getting saved and being officially released, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it seems we have unlocked the bad ending.
Thank you all so much for coming, and again, I’m so sorry if I came off as too harsh or anything. I was just really upset when I wrote this. It happens to the best of us.
Rest In Peace
Coyote VS. Acme
2018-2024
If you’re reading this, just know that at the time of revising this eulogy, this film has currently been put in limbo. If it gets announced 100% as officially cancelled, then this is still relevant.
If on the other hand, the film is miraculously saved and released to the public in the coming months, then just disregard this eulogy altogether.
Now let’s get to it!
Guys, Gals, Non-binary pals, Cartoons, Crazy Loons, and… Sentient Balloons? Whatever, whoever may be reading this, thank you so much for coming.
Before we proceed with this funeral, I just want you guys to keep in mind that I wasn’t in a very good mood when I wrote this (I was looking forward to this movie, okay?!) so if I’m being too harsh in this obituary reading, that’s probably why. This is just a subject I feel pretty strongly about, so I’m pretty… passionate about it, for lack of a better word.
It’s even more frustrating since I was an avid looney tunes fan, and even had a phase where I was obsessed with it back in 2016-2017, and while I’m not as crazy about them as I was before, i still enjoy the franchise, and I have enjoyed the films we have gotten from this IP, including Space Jam, Back in Action, and even Space Jam: A New Legacy, so hopefully my scathing frustration now makes more sense with that context, as well as the earlier mentioned context of me just letting off some steam when writing this. So no, nobody took a shot in my mailbox or jizzed on my bowl of cereal today.
And no, cancelled projects are no foreign concept to me. I’m very well aware of other films even from other studios that were near completion that were scrapped for tax write-offs, like Me and My Shadow, B.O.O.: Bureau of Otherworldly Operations, Larrikins, and countless others, but I wasn’t as upset with those because I only found out about their existence after they had been cancelled, and because at least copies of the films still exist, whereas they’re planning on destroying each copy of Coyote VS. Acme that exists, making it lost forever.
Without further ado, let’s get into it!
We are gathered here today to honor the memory of a potential masterpiece of a film that sadly never got a chance… that got canceled, uncanceled, and then canceled again!
This wasn’t just any old ordinary run-of-the-mill Wile E. Coyote cartoon. It had an interesting premise based on a humorous New York Times article by Ian Frazier, likely passionate directing from Dave Green, a seemingly amazing score from Steven Price, an all-star cast consisting of Eric Bauza, Jeff Bergman, Will Forte, P.J. Byrne, Lana Condor, Hayes Hargrove, Bennie Taylor, Nancy Linehan Charles, Ernie Vigil and John Cena just to name a few, and some neat 3D animation comparable to that of Tom & Jerry (2021).
The films plot centered around Wile E. Coyote deciding to sue the ACME corporation for the sale of faulty products, which usually resulted in him sustaining serious injury, with his equally unlucky lawyer, played by Will Forte, helping him win the case against the CEO of ACME, played by John Cena.
Take all that and the fact it scored very well with test audiences into consideration, and this truly sounds like it could’ve been the film of the century.
This “modern-day Roger Rabbit” as they called it, sadly got the plug pulled on November 9, 2023, when Warner Bros. Discovery made the decision to scrap the film and use it for a tax write-off.
This outcome was somewhat foreshadowed over a year in advance, as this film was supposed to come out in theaters on July 21, 2023 before it got delayed, with this release slot being taken by Barbie instead.
This doesn’t seem too bad at first glance, until we realized this film wasn’t being given a new release date.
Alas, we were still naïve in believing this film was going to get a new release date, for the reasons the author of this eulogy has mentioned above.
Obviously, the cast and crew behind the film didn’t take this news too well, with director Dave Green expressing his disappointment over the films cancellation: “I am beyond proud of the final product, and beyond devastated by WB’s decision to cancel the movie.”
Needless to say, he wasn’t alone in that belief.
Not long after, this seemed like it was starting to spell disaster for Warner Bros. Many people were canceling scheduled appointments with them, some animators sent them angry phone calls and messages, to the point WB made the decision to shop the film around to other distributors.
Other studios, such as Netflix, Amazon Prime and Paramount made bids, with the latter including a theatrical release, and the majority of them still offering some handsome bids. Seems like things could only get better from here, right?
Wrong.
You see, Warner Bros had an asking price of 75-80 million dollars, which they weren’t informed of, and in addition, Warner Bros. Discovery also didn’t allow any counteroffers to be made, so as a result, the film was once again canned today, on February 23, 2024, suffering the same fate as two other previous Warner Bros movies “Scoob! Holiday Haunt” and “Batgirl”.
If there’s one lesson to be learned from this, it’s that we just should assume every upcoming film will be canceled and used as a tax write-off. I honestly don’t even expect “The Day the Earth Blew up: A Looney Tunes Movie” or “Bye Bye Bunny: A Looney Tunes Musical” to ever see the light of day, because the same thing might very well happen to those movies as well.
We gather here today to wish this film a peaceful rest in the Warner Bros archive. To wish our deepest condolences to the cast and crew who poured their heart and soul into this potential masterpiece only for it to be poured down the drain. To pray that someone gets to leak this film and that it can somehow see the light of day.
Coming from someone who was really looking forward to this film, sorry it got cancelled, and huge thanks for everyone who tried bringing it to live, from Director Dave Green, to Oscar-winning screenwriter Samy Burch, Executive Producer James Gunn, Soundtrack Composer Steven Price, and anyone else who was associated with the project.
As an aspiring wannabe filmmaker myself, I can only imagine the pain that would come with your film being nearly, if not fully complete like in this case, just to be all thrown down the drain, and all I can hope is that in the future, wether it be in a week, month, year, or 10 years from now, this film gets to see the light of day. I would love to have the opportunity to watch this film for myself, and I would be so grateful for that opportunity.
And Eric Bauza, I love your enthusiasm in saving this movie, and I’d love to get to talk to you, or anyone involved with this film.
-Sincerely, Kevin. (Not sharing my last name.)
(The rest of this eulogy involves me taking a few jabs at Zaslav and his 3 other executives who cancelled this project. I’m writing this disclaimer after I wrote the rest of this eulogy, and as I’ve stated earlier, I was channeling all my frustration into writing this, so if you don’t wish to see me insult someone, don’t go beyond this point.
You have been warned.)
As for you, David Zaslav… let’s just say I hope your ass gets fired and you never get to work in the film industry ever again. Fuck you. You never even gave this film a chance, because you never even watched it, yet pretty much ignorantly chose to write it off anyway despite the rave reviews the film got.
Slam me all you want, but I think I speak for everyone when we say you are a cancer on the film industry, and especially Warner Bros. You’ve already scrapped two other films for tax write-offs, those being SCOOB! Holiday Haunt and Batgirl.
I’m not even 100% angry just because you’re cancelling this film (don’t get excited, I’m still 99.99% pissed off, as I would have loved to get the chance to watch it someday), so much as the fact you didn’t even watch it to give it a chance. That’s the least you can do!
And believe me, I am holding back as much as I can right now from saying something that will get me permanently banned on every site in existence, and getting my ass cancelled by culture. Let’s just say that Zaslav hunting season couldn’t come soon enough, and I’m sure Elmer Fudd will have a field day with you, even more so than with every time he’s tried to hunt Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck.
And as for the other 3 entitled executives who seconded David’s decision to cancel the picture, you thought I was going to let your asses slide? Oh no, you three will get your cowardly asses held accountable just like Zaslav was, so here goes.
You guys never gave this film a fair shot either, only watching a rough cut of it, and still agreeing to scrap it for a tax write-off. The fact that you guys put such a high asking price and didn’t allow counteroffers is pretty sketchy too, as though you were intentionally sabotaging this film. Not trying to accuse you guys of this if this is actually false, but it’s pretty suspicious.
I’ll give you three this, at least you actually bothered to watch some cut of the film, even if it wasn’t a finalized version, but still.
This just sucks. All we can do now is hope that some copies of the film survive through WB’s junking of the film and it’s assets.
In terms of this film getting saved and being officially released, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it seems we have unlocked the bad ending.
Thank you all so much for coming, and again, I’m so sorry if I came off as too harsh or anything. I was just really upset when I wrote this. It happens to the best of us.
