Invent a lost media story

So lately, I've been getting into Gnosticism, which was a "heretical" branch of early Christianity which combined the teachings of Jesus with various other spiritual ethos floating around the Greco-Middle Eastern world at the time. (Including Pythagoreanism, Orphism, Neoplatonism, Stoicism, Egyptian folklore and in some cases even Zoroastrianism.) 

Many of the holy texts associated with the various Gnostic sects are lost, including a semi-religious, semi-political essay from Epiphanes, a young man in his 20s, called On Righteousness. This text was supposedly an argument against private property and an avocation for a pseudo-communist society almost 2000 years before Karl Marx himself was born. Epiphanes was the son of another Gnostic preacher named Carpocrates, whose other most famous pupil was a woman named Marcellina. Marcellina preached in Rome, and advocated for communal sexual partners and a libertine lifestyle. She venerated Jesus but only on the same level as secular teachers like Pythagoras, Socrates and Plato. She is also the only known woman of the ancient world to lead a Christian congregation of her own authority. Unfortunately, our knowledge of these people ends there.

There was also a completely different sect (which similarly advocated for a hedonistic lifestyle) called the Borborites, who venerated Mary Magdalene as the only "true" disciple of Jesus. They considered her the only one who understood the hidden "real" message of his ministry. They used several texts which purport to be the secret knowledge of Mary, but all of these are lost and they are almost certainly not accurate to how the real Mary would have described Jesus. For example, the lone surviving quotation from The Greater Questions of Mary has Jesus leading Mary to the side of a mountain, pulling a woman out of his rib like Eve from Adam, and having sex with her as she dangles over the side of the cliff. Then he eats his own jizz and says to Mary "we do this so that we may live," before she faints from shock. 

^Now, you all probably thought that was made up, but actually it's 100% fact. That background info is necessary to establish the fake scenario below...


While the Carpocratian sect is said to have made use of a real (and lost) text called The Gospel of the Hebrews, that may not necessarily be the case for Marcellina's off-shoot of it. I like to imagine there's a forgotten "Gospel of Marcellina" out there in the desert somewhere, and a real Gospel or Epistle in which Mary describes the actual private conversations she almost certainly had with Jesus. All of what we know from most of these Gnostic communities comes from the hostile orthodox Christian sources, so I'd like to hear about them in their own words. I want to believe there's a second Nag Hammadi library out there somewhere with the missing texts we know these churches used. 

In addition, there's a subgenre of apocryphal literature called "The Testament of..." followed by the name of an important Old Testament figure, like Adam, Job and Moses. In all cases, these texts involve the titular protagonist being told they're about to die from an archangel (usually Gabriel) and getting their Earthly affairs in order. I would love it if we stumbled upon a "Testament of Seth," or (if women would even receive such an honor) a "Testament of Eve." Why Seth? Because some Gnostic groups venerated him as the true great prophet, in some cases even over Jesus. Why Eve? Because I love the few kernels of writing that actually give women the time of day from the ancient world. So many treat us as an afterthought at best. 

😄😂📼

(Nice callback to the OP/troll from 4chan☘️)

Did you “cry yourself to sleep” after watching that vid? 😄🙌

(Now that I reread the OP’s post from 4chan, I realized just how fake he sounded)

And then….the Blameitonjorge YouTube community got ahold of it…then about HALF of YouTube got ahold of it (including myself)

I feel so used 😐

guys i ws waching my fovite tv show pepa pig when all os a suden it plaed a curse episode it was called "Peppa Pig Taking A Piss", and it had some of the most fucked up conent i ever see read the rest of thede if u dar!!!!!!!






Peppa Pig took a piss

i am sory for the disturbin content in this part of my reply no one knows were the epsode went real lost meda guys!!!!